Through the years
by thisoldlady
Summary: Dean's journey of life. AU, nothing supernatural.


**I don't own them!**

When Dean is three, his parents tell him, he'd be a big brother. He loves his brother fiercely, from the first moment. Sammy is so tiny and Dean is so proud, to be a big brother. He vows to himself to fight against dragons and monsters, to keep Sammy safe.

When Dean is four, there is smoke and screams and Daddy shoves Sam in his arms and tells him to run outside and to keep Sam safe, no matter what. Dean carries his precious freight down the stairs, he takes him outsides and there they wait, wait for Mom and Dad to walk out of their house. They wait. But their Mom never comes. Only Dad. The tears in his eyes are tears of desperation.

When Dean is seven, he's a pro in removing vomit from the floor, from his Dad's clothes. He cooks and cleans and takes care of Sammy.

When Dean is nine, his Dad hits him for the first time. The tears in his eyes are tears of pain.

When he's eleven, his Dad whips him with his belt, because Sam dropped a bottle of beer. Dad wanted to hit Sam, but Dean gets in his way. Dad becomes so furious, he pulls his belt out of his pants and whips Dean with it. Sam hides in the closet, covering his ears, so he won't hear Dean's screams and the yelling and slurring of his old man.

Dean always takes the beatings, gladly, if it means, Sammy is safe.

When Dean is thirteen, John Winchester beats him unconscious, because Dean payed their landlord. With money, the old man wanted to spend on booze.

There always has been rumors about the Winchesters. About the drinking of John. Rumors about the beatings. But whenever a teacher or a neighbour tries to talk with Dean about his bruises and cuts and welts and shiners, he waves off. He can't be blamed just because he's always so clumsy, can't he? The tears in his eyes are tears of humiliation.

But the way, John behaves after the gruesome death of his wife and what Dean and Sam have to endure because of this loss...well, that is family buisiness.

When Dean is fourteen, Uncle Bobby comes for a visit. He's a grumpy man with a greasy cap on his head. He takes a good look on the kids, put his fist in John's drunken face and tells Dean to pack the most important things for himself and Sammy. He puts their duffel bags in the trunk of his car and drives them away.

When Dean is fourteen, he moves to Sioux Falls, South Dakota.

When Dean is fourteen, he meets his new neighbours, the Novaks, a friendly, christian family with five kids.

When Dean is fourteen, his life begins.

He goes to school. He becomes friend with Gabriel, a Novak-boy. Gabriel is about Dean's age and Michael and Lucifer are older. So is Anna, the only girl. Castiel is the youngest, younger then Sam.

Dean's life is better then ever.

In just a few months, Bobby becomes more father to the Winchester boys then John has ever been. He shows Dean, how to work on old cars and Dean loves every moment of it. He can fix things in the beat-up garage. And that is something, Dean needs. He has to fix everything. And whenever anything can't be fixed, he takes the blame for it.

He grows up.

He plays football in school and he makes out with cheerleaders after school.

Sometimes he has nightmares of his dad. And the tears in his eyes are tears of relief. Relief, that this part of his life is over.

He spends time with Gabriel, and Sam spends time with Castiel. The Novak-boy is two years younger younger then Sam, but still they become inseparable.

When Dean is sixteen, he has a very good life.

Sometimes he watches Castiel. The pale skin, the impossible blue eyes, the dark hair, always mussy. The slender wrists, peaking out from the too big sweaters. When Castiel smiles at Dean, shy and sweet, Dean feels good. He wants to see this smile more often.

Dean tells Sam, to look after Castiel in high school. There are bunches of idiots in high schools and he doesn't want Cas to be hurt or bullied. He can't stand the thought of Castiel being hurt.

When Dean is eighteen, he sleeps with Anna and Castiel doesn't talk to him for almost half a year.

Dean doesn't understand it. But it hurts, it fuckin' hurts.

He leaves for college, coming home at holidays.

When he is twenty-one, Castiel and him found themselves beneath a mistletoe. Castiel is the one, the brave one, the one who cranes his head and kisses him, short and sweet and chaste. And Dean is confused. And his lips are tingling, even hours later.

He returns home when he is twenty-two, working with Bobby, getting his own appartment, watching Castiel. He feels like a creep. But he has to know, that Cas is safe. That Cas is happy. And when Castiel outs himself as gay to his family and presents his boyfriend Balthazar he feels a stabbing pain in his heart and he doesn't understand it.

Castiel breaks up with Balthazar after a couple of months and Dean is secretly relieved. He never could stand the thought of that strange skinny boy touching Castiel.

When Dean is twenty-three Castiel comes to his appartment. His smile is contagious and he kisses Dean. There is nothing chaste in this kiss, it is deep and wet and passionate. It's addictive to Dean.

Castiel is on his back on Dean's memory foam mattress, naked and glorious and Dean knows, that's it, that's the moment, his life will change forever.

They are happy together.

When Castiel finishes Highschool, Dean wants to break up with him, wants him to go to college, wants him to experiment, to meet different men, to find someone his own age, to find the happiness he deserves.

Castiel looks at him, serene and sincere, silences him with a kiss and says, "I love you, Dean. I loved you since I first saw you, and I will love you until the day I die. And nothing you'll say or do will ever change that. I'll go to college, but I will always come back to you."

When Dean is twenty-eight he stands in a church, next to his Castiel and he vows to love Castiel for the rest of his life. The tears in his eyes are tears of joy.


End file.
